songs to listen to when the party starts in half an hour but you're still crying in the shower (also called stltwtpsihahbyscits) is the first album released by independent artist K.aerom, published on June 17, 2024, with no previous announcement.
Background[]
Aside from some teasing here and there, the release of this album was a complete surprise for everyone, even for the company K.aerom was working for, since, as an independent artist, he kept it as a secret the best he could.
The announcement for the album happened barely an hour before it got actually released, and he chose to not adress it after. In his own words, "I´ve produced, wrote and recorded all of this songs on my own, I want to be an artist that expresses how he feels, not an industry robot", which implies that he released this album so his fans would connect more to him as a person, and not so much as an idol.
Tracklist[]
| Song | Producer | Lyricist | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| i miss everone, but i like being alone | K.aerom | K.aerom | 00:58 |
| guys | K.aerom | K.aerom | 02:34 |
| pure grey | K.aerom | K.aerom | 04:00 |
| damn, i'm bored | K.aerom | K.aerom | 01:27 |
| pastel black | K.aerom | K.aerom | 03:42 |
| a stray dog followed me | K.aerom | K.aerom | 00:46 |
| i don't feel like myself lately | K.aerom | K.aerom | 01:49 |
| little horse | K.aerom | K.aerom | 02:12 |
| i love rainy days | K.aerom | K.aerom | 01:23 |
| i'm no angel | K.aerom | K.aerom | 02:34 |
| inside | K.aerom | K.aerom | 01:00 |
| Total length: | 24:25 | ||
Concept and Composition[]
i miss everone, but i like being alone[]
This is a pseudo-intro for the album, which has no instrumental or lyrics, just background noise of water falling on the shower as a nod to the album title. When heard in stereo, crying sounds can be heard failntly, implying that the audio and the album title are based on something that actually happened in K.aerom's life.
Aside from this one, every other song in the record begins with an audio message, all of which he confirmed were really sent to people in his life, and not done for the album.
guys[]
Production: K.aerom - Lyrics: K.aerom
Intro (voice message): "Guys, we haven't seen each other in a while. If anyone is free next saturday, you can come to my appartment and we'll have dinner..."
The song is a very heartfelt message to a group of people who Haerom misses. Some lines, especially in the chorus, make it seem like the "guys" he's talking about are the other Simis members, of whom he's said "I haven't seen any of them after leaving the group, but we all keep in touch and have a group chat together. I miss those guys a lot, they helped me through some dark times of my life, but the company they're under does not give them much social freedom.".
The song ends abruptly with the line "they made it seem peaceful, but we know it wasn't". Due to this, some fans have speculated that his departure from Simis wasn't mutually accorded like he had said before.
pure grey[]
Production: K.aerom - Lyrics: K.aerom
Intro (voice message): (In Korean) "People call sadness "being blue", and blue is my favoirte color, so like, am I destined to be like that?"
During this song, Haerom compares colors with emotions, and expresses how, after all, if you keep everything to yourself, it all mixes and, just like paint, becomes grey. His favorite line from the album is on this song ("a perfect world is just some anger watered down with white"), and it implies how the view of the "perfect world" is usually called "pink-colored glasses", and how pink is just red and white mixed.
damn, i'm bored[]
Production: K.aerom - Lyrics: K.aerom
Intro (voice message): "I've been lying on my couch since monday. I barely eat these days, but I don't feel bad at all, I just need to watch a good show to get me going... any recs?"
It's a simple song about not knowing what to do when you feel like doing nothing, but are bored and tired of being inactive. It sounds like 2 songs going at the same time, interspersing lines about not wanting to get up at all, and lines about doing a lot of things in just a few hours.
a stray dog followed me[]
This is an interlude of just a voice message in which Haerom laughs most of the time as he says some random phrases (all in Korean):
"*... a stray dong followed me...
I mean, I'm not sure if stray is the right word. He has a collar, it says "PONG" but it has no info of the owner... Do I take him home? He's actually pretty friendly.
I've been playing with him for like two hours, and he refuses to leave."
i don't feel like myself lately[]
Production: K.aerom - Lyrics: K.aerom
Intro (voice message): (In Korean) "Last night I went to the cinema... Alone. The movie was good but I felt kind of lost being the only loner in the room"
The song is about doing things you used to do normally, but feeling like they don't fulfill you as much anymore. It explores the need for change and rediscovery of one self, and how social pressure can be a big factor in this.
little horse[]
Production: K.aerom - Lyrics: K.aerom
Intro (voice message): "...maybe that's how baby horses feel. Adult ones are taller, stronger, faster, prettier, bigger... no one wants a little horse, right?"
In little horse Haerom uses baby horses as a metaphor for feeling like everyone is better than you when it comes to doing something you're suppossed to. He has been very vocal about how, even after almost a decade of working in the music industry, he still fells like an amateur artist due to how little the idols are allowed to interfere in the music production.
i love rainy days[]
Just like track 6, this one is an interlude in which the audio is only a voice message, while rain can be hard in the background:
"I'm really happy about tonight's storm alert...
I don't like wind, lightings and all that of course, but I feel like rainy days are the only time when we're allowed to refuse to socially interact and no one thinks its weird...
...you can take some beatiful pictures as well. Some of mybest photos have been either under the rain, or just after the sky cleared.
...I love rainy days, actually."
i'm no angel[]
Intro (voice message): "I'm tired of acting like I'm not flawed. Yes, I do bad things, I have done stuff I regret, I sometimes opt for the wrong path. Is that bad? Am I worthless for not being what the fans expect from me?"
i'm no angel explores Haerom's hard time following K-pop idol's rules and expectations. It is a very to-the-point song in which he openly asks why is it wrong to do certain things that all people do just because he's an idol: "...I've kissed girls and boys, drinked and smoked, was that not allowed?". After the song ends, there's 2 seconds of silence and then another voice message plays.
Outro (voice message): "Actually, scrap that. I didn't mean to say bad things. It's not bad to live and enjoy my life, I'm not harming anyone. I'm tired of the way this industry shaped me to think saying someone is attractive is wrong. From now on, I'll just do my own thing, and if they don't like it, it's not my problem."
Some fans tied certain album lyrics together with this song, and came to the conclusion that Haerom did follow through what he said in the song's outro about doing what he wanted even if it was seen as wrong, and this was the reason for the conflict with Simis' agency, which resulted in his departure from the group. Adding to this theory, Haerom himself has said that this song symbolizes the end of an era in his life, and that's why he also thinks of it as the last track in the album even if it actually isn't.
inside[]
This is the continuation of the first track, and just like that, it has no instrumental. Instead, the whole track is a voice message with water running sound in the background:
"Hey. I think it's already too late and I haven't even decided what I'm going to wear. I think I'll sit this one out... It's cold out there too, so I want to stay inside tonight. I hope you don't mind it.
By the way... Have you ever thought about how much just a shower can change your mood? I was so sure about going to the party just a few minutes ago, but suddenly I don't want to anymore... Well, again, hope this doesn't bother you too much. I love you. Have fun tonight, and text me if you need anything.
Actualy, don't you want to come home? Let's skip the party altogether. I'll buy ice cream, we can watch a movie and do a sleepover. * can come too, if he wants too."