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Min Taylor (민 테일러) is a Korean-Canadian trainee under SUN Entertainment. He is currently participating in Outside The Box.
History[]
This Chance[]
Min Taylor, aged 15, waiting for the chance to grab his dreams. Sure, Taylor only really started caring about k-pop two months earlier, but he didn’t realize how close the company building was. He knew the company from their soloist, Ahn Minhui, but he just wanted to get into a company. Taylor could sing decently, and had tried to learn k-pop dances before, so he was sure he could at least try to get into the company. The auditions were apparently changed from their last set of auditions, and it apparently made it easier to get into the company. Taylor didn’t really know what he was doing, but when he signed up online for the local auditions and was chosen for a spot, he felt like he had an opportunity.
Taylor didn’t realize how many other people had been chosen for the auditions as well. As they all warmed up in the Covid safe sectioned areas in the practice room, Taylor felt self-conscious. He had never properly warmed up before, so he awkwardly followed along with what the others around him were doing. The staff started calling people into the side room, where they would be performing a song of their choice. Taylor hoped his song was a good choice. It was one of Minhui’s songs, and he hoped that he performed it well.
When his name was called, Taylor tried to walk confidently into the room. There were lights shining in his face and he couldn’t really see the staff well due to that. Standing in the middle of the room, Taylor suddenly forgot how to speak in Korean. “Uh…uh…I’m Min Taylor.” Realizing he had just introduced himself in English, Taylor awkwardly smiled and tried again in Korean. “I’m Min Taylor, 15 years old! I am here to show you what I have so that I can debut as an idol!” He added a wink to try to shove the awkwardness away. It must have worked because he heard a staff member call him interesting.
Taylor definitely did not perform his song to the best he could, but he smiled the whole way through and kept his energy up. He smiled until he left the room, where he almost started crying. He couldn’t tell if he was happy or not, but he felt something.
Taylor was told he had passed the whole auditions and didn’t have to go through any more rounds. He was told they saw potential in him, and that they wanted a trainee like him. The other people in the audition had to go through varying rounds of auditions before being accepted, but Taylor was chosen right away. It was all a little weird, but Taylor knew he needed to start working hard right away. This chance was something worth taking with full effort.
Talent And Personality And Charm[]
Talent is important, but personality and charm can do wonders. “You need more practice” was what the staff told Taylor. Taylor knew this. He hadn’t been training for long, and he definitely wasn’t as good as the other trainees. Yet, something was pulling him to persist. When Taylor asked about joining Star Maker X 101 again, the staff gave him looks. Taylor took a breath and pulled out his infamous cute grin and shiningly bright eyes. He had practiced this look many times.
When the staff said Taylor could try auditioning, Taylor realized what he had done. He had no idea what he was doing. Minhui-sunbaenim caught him outside of the meeting room. Great, Minhui-sunbaenim seeing him in a moment where he isn’t in his normal charismatic mood. He tried to make a joke about accidentally convincing the staff into throwing him overboard off of the ship that is his trainee career. It came off as sour and cold, his self-frustration pouring through his words. Minhui-sunbaenim told him “You need to practice”. Taylor did just that.
The Taylor before entering the audition building was serious and frustrated, the Taylor upon entering the audition building was throwing smiles left and right and making small conversations with the other trainees. He hadn’t quite mastered the dance moves of his routine. All Taylor had was his charm. It was what got him into a company in the first place, so surely it could help him with this.
He had the producers and staff of the show smiling from the moment he entered the room. “Min Taylor, SUN Entertainment’s 16-year-old resident gentleman. Nice to meet you!” was his greeting, flourished with a pose. He winked, and saw a staff member playfully giggle at him. This was good. He somehow managed to perform without completely ruining his image, trying to add as many facial expressions as he could into his lacking dance. At least Taylor’s voice was in good condition today.
Taylor cried after being told he got in. He didn’t cry near the staff, but he cried outside of the meeting room and Minhui-sunbaenim walked by. Taylor doesn’t remember their conversation. He only remembers being told to practice. Maybe he gained some anger towards Minhui-sunbaenim that day. Taylor practiced.
Yunmin was a nice trainee to be in the show with. He didn’t speak much, but he had a good voice. Junmi-hyung, on the other hand, was not ideal. Junmi-hyung acted like his friendship with Minhui-sunbaenim was his only personality trait. Taylor tried to lighten the mood in the van to the recording building by telling jokes. Yunmin listened and then sang. Junmi-hyung looked angry.
When Taylor stepped out of the van, he knew he was in over his head. This was the water. The other trainees are just sharks.
Full of Energy[]
Taylor was full of energy most of the time. That was just his nature. But today, that energy was unwelcome.
It was the eliminations, and Taylor was afraid. Yes, his team won the bonus points, but he was rank F. Nobody really likes rank F trainees. Without talent, they aren’t appealing to anybody. Taylor feared that his charm wasn’t enough this time.
Sitting in his chair, feeling the buzz of the trainees around him, Taylor couldn’t sit still. Junmi, sitting on his left, gave Taylor a concerned look. “You okay?” the older asked. Taylor sighed.
“I’m not going to make it to the next round,” Taylor said sadly. “Look around! All of these trainees are fighting their hardest, but only 70 of us are making it through. Because of my rank, it will be difficult for me to rank high enough.”
“Don’t worry.” Junmi put his hand on Taylor’s shoulder, as if to comfort him. “I’m sure that you will make it through. You have enough personality for the three of us, and I’m sure the viewers appreciated that.”
Taylor tried to smile, but he still felt bad. “Maybe.”
Yunmin, who was sitting on the left of Junmi, leaned forward to look at Taylor. “Fighting!” He lifted his fist slightly.
Taylor returned the action. “Fighting!”
As the eliminations started, Taylor wondered where he would place if he made it through. He watched as the rankings kept getting higher. He clapped loudly as his fellow Extras teammates made it through. Most of them were making it, and Taylor was glad. The team worked super hard, and this was the result of their hard work. Taylor hoped he could join them.
As the rankings inched closer to the top ten, Taylor had accepted that he might not make it. Junmi and Yunmin hadn’t been called up either, which was concerning, but Taylor hoped they were both ranked high.
Trainee Nam Hye had just finished his short speech, and Geonu began announcing the next trainee. “Next is a trainee who was off to a bad start ranking F in the grading, but with his energy he slowly grew into people’s hearts.”. Taylor hadn’t been keeping track of which rank F trainees were left…but he was rank F. The description was also close to him. He felt Junmi sit up suddenly beside him.
“SUN Entertainment’s Min Taylor!”
Taylor laughed for a second, before realizing that he needed to actually stand up and go to the stage. He hugged Junmi and Yunmin quickly before excitedly making his way to the stage. He almost tripped on his way, but his smile never fell. Reaching the stage, he quickly grabbed the microphone. When prompted by Geonu to say something though, he was at a loss for words. “I don’t know what to say… Thank you. So much.”
He couldn’t stop smiling.
When Junmi’s name was called, Taylor almost screamed. He cheered as loud as he could.
But then Yunmin’s name wasn’t called and the rank 1 trainee had been announced.
And then all of the trainees had been announced and Yunmin was still sitting with the eliminated trainees.
The trainees were allowed to go say goodbye to the eliminated trainees, and Taylor ran faster than he ever had before. Yunmin wasn’t crying, but Taylor could tell he was sad. Together with Junmi, Taylor hugged the younger boy, letting him know that it was okay. Yunmin looked directly at the two of them and said, “Win this.”
Go Practice[]
Min Taylor didn’t agree with what the judges said about his performance. “Taylor, you especially impressed me with how much more detailed your dancing was today!” “Both of you had amazing energy! I could feel it from over here.” “Taylor, even though your tone was off on some of the notes, I could definitely hear an improvement since the interim checks.” Even if the judges showered him in niceties, Taylor couldn’t shake off the feeling slowly growing in his chest. He didn’t perform well. No amounts of empty reassurance and vague compliments would be able to convince him otherwise.
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The CEO had asked the three of them to prepare a handful of performances as soon as the confirmation of their participation on Star Maker X 101 was relayed to him. For the most part, the songs had been chosen for them. Taylor looked at the list of his songs, feeling a weird mix of excitement and…something bittersweet. “The performances will be posted as a reward for the people who voted for you.” was what the CEO had explained, and Taylor felt weird about preparing performances that might not have a chance at being released. “As you can see, we have chosen songs based on our evaluations of you, but we have left out the first song. As you are representing our company, we want you each to pick a song that can represent you.” This is where the excitement kicked back in. A song that represents him? Taylor had the perfect choice.
If you told Taylor he could only listen to one song for the rest of his entire earthly life, he wouldn’t hesitate for even a second. There was a song that always picked him up when he was down, that gave him the energy to practice for those 15 more minutes, that made him feel confident. It was the first love he listened to when he fell in love with k-pop. It was the song that made him fall in love with k-pop. There was simply no better song than it. As Yunmin stared at his paper confusedly and Junmi scrunched his eyebrows in thought, Taylor wrote it down on his paper with a smile.
Oh My! by SEVENTEEN.
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“The person who will get the immunity is…Liang Tian Bing!”
Tian Bing deserved it, honestly. No amount of reflecting on the performance would have stopped Taylor from feeling overjoyed for Tian Bing. But it stung.
Taylor had failed.
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Taylor had gone numb at this point. Three rounds of eliminations down, that electric nervousness had transformed into a solemn acceptance. He was sure most of the trainees here could understand that. The closer they all got to the finals, the more they all had learned to just “get used to it”. It was ruthless, it was cruel, but it was the only way to continue. He stared up at the judges, at one in particular.
Ahn Minhui.
Taylor’s interactions with Minhui had been limited, but left an impression. It felt like every time he had passed her in the hallways at the company building, all she did was tell him to practice. No matter how much effort he put into it, Minhui never seemed to acknowledge it. Taylor knew that Minhui probably didn’t mean any harm, but it hurt, and she didn’t seem to care.
He also had an understanding of sorts that Junmi was friends with her. Before the show, Taylor saw them as a perfect match. Minhui was cold and cruel, Junmi was silent and reserved. Although he never saw them interact much, Taylor knew that Minhui went out of her way to give him advice before the show started. He had envied Junmi for that, hating that he got more than just “Go practice.” from Minhui. But now, after becoming closer with Junmi, Taylor wasn’t sure how Junmi and Minhui could be friends, if they ever even were.
He didn’t want to hate her. And yet everything pointed him to it.
As independent trainee Azriel made his way off the stage, his dreams shattered in front of everyone, Minhui picked up her microphone. “This next elimination we decided to make is for this trainee who has struggled throughout the show,” she stated calmly, her piercing gaze scanning over the trainees. “They’ve improved greatly and their personality has shone on the show, but we ultimately decided he wouldn’t be an essential part of the debut group.”
Oh.
Minhui’s sharp eyes focused directly on Taylor. He almost shuddered from the intensity of the eye contact.
“SUN Entertainment’s Min Taylor.”
For a moment, Taylor couldn’t process anything besides the fact that he was eliminated. And then the words spoken before his name came ringing back into his head. “He wouldn’t be an essential part of the debut group.” It began to mix with “Go practice.”, stated in the same tone.
Playing over. And over. And over.
Taylor wasn’t good enough. And he was starting to feel like he never would be.
The microphone passed into his hands by the staff felt cold, heavy, overwhelming. Taylor usually always had something to say, but he froze for a moment. Feeling himself begin to tremble a bit, Taylor tried to take a deep breath. On the exhale, he laughed a bit. It was sour.
He had failed. Yet again.
Somehow, Taylor managed to say “See you at the company, Minhui, I guess.”, a weak attempt at lightening the mood. Minhui clapped for him with the other judges, but mentioned wanting to talk with him later. That didn’t sit well with Taylor. What did she have to say to him? Did she just want to tell him to practice again? Hadn’t she broken him enough?
The questions racing through his mind shifted to tears, and Taylor made his way off the stage. He glanced over to Junmi, who was staring up at Minhui. He looked…furious. But then Junmi’s gaze shifted down to meet Taylor’s…and Junmi’s expression broke.
Taylor had no time to process the sudden wave of pain that crashed down on him like the wave of an angry ocean. He was immediately embraced by several trainees, who walked with him as he sobbed. Some asked if he was okay, some gave him calm reassurances, a couple asked if he needed help packing to leave the next morning, but Taylor couldn’t say anything back.
The melody of Oh My! played in his head. Taylor wanted nothing more than to not listen to that song for a long time.
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Taylor lugged his suitcase towards the van door. It seemed heavier than when he first arrived. One foot off the curb, slowly lowering to the parking lot pavement. He didn’t want to leave. These were his friends here. This was his place. He no longer felt like a small fish in an ocean of sharks. He felt like he belonged.
One foot off the curb, hesitant and painful.
“Taylor, wait!” The sounds of hurried footsteps.
Taylor whipped around, coming face-to-face with a slightly out-of-breath Junmi. He couldn’t help but notice the slight pink around his eyes, and the slight shine of leftover tears. Taylor figured he didn’t look much better himself. “Junmi? I’m supposed to be leaving…are you even allowed out here?”
Junmi glanced over his shoulder, Taylor following his gaze, at the open door leading back into the building, where a staff member was checking their watch impatiently. Turning back to Taylor, Junmi held something out to him. It was a bracelet, one of the many Taylor had brought with him in his luggage. “You forgot this…”
Taking the bracelet slowly from Junmi, Taylor examined it. It wasn’t anything special, just a normal piece of circular fabric. He wouldn’t have missed it anyways. He looked back up at Junmi.
The two stood in silence for a moment, the cold breeze of the morning brushing past them.
Junmi broke the silence first, voice laced with heavy emotion, as if he was about to cry. “Taylor…I’m sorry.”
Sorry? What did Junmi have to be sorry for? It wasn’t his fault Taylor was eliminated. Taylor went to refute Junmi’s apology, but before he could open his mouth, he realized what Junmi actually meant.
“Junmi…you’re going to make it. I promise. I know we promised Yunmin that we’d win this, together, but there’s nothing we can do about it now except keep moving on. Right? And I know you don’t see this, but honestly Junmi? If any of the three of us was going to make it this far, it was always you. It was always you. You have to understand that. Please, for my sake. For Yunmin’s sake. You can do this.” Taylor knew that if he said anything else, he was going to cry.
Junmi smiled a bit, softly, almost fondly. And then the smile turned bittersweet. Junmi looked…lost. And…Taylor understood exactly what Junmi was feeling. He was sure that all of the boys back in that building were feeling the exact same way. The hopelessness, the loss of friends for the sake of competition, the questions of “Is this whole thing even worth it?” and “Does what I do now even matter?”. It was breaking all of them, wasn’t it? The proof was here, in the tear-filled eyes of a boy who Taylor never thought he would ever be able to consider as a friend.
In a moment of blind emotion, despite knowing the older boy might try to stop him, Taylor gave Junmi a hug. He held on tight, hoping that maybe, just maybe, it would give him some reassurance. He tried to control his emotions when Junmi suddenly broke down, sobbing into the shoulder of Taylor’s jacket. His efforts failed, and the two boys stood there, in the cold of the morning, letting out the shared silent pain of 101 trainees, all once full of hope, in the almost empty parking lot. They stayed there until the staff member called out to Junmi, telling him it was time to go back.
As Junmi went to walk away, he ruffled Taylor’s hair a bit with his hand. “Don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough.” And with that, the older boy turned and walked back inside.
Taylor smiled. At least he hadn’t failed Junmi.
The Van[]
Taylor was a bit too distracted by the song playing through his earbuds to notice the door to the other side of the van open. It was Agent Insane from Sangwon’s newest album, one of the many new songs Taylor downloaded immediately upon getting his phone back. He was still pushing down his emotions, and the song’s lyrics were just making him emotional all over again, but he didn’t feel like expending the effort to change the song.
The scent of whatever overly sweet perfume Ahn Minhui was wearing filled the van, and was what got Taylor’s attention. He looked up from where he was staring at the door’s child lock, and saw Minhui through the reflection in the window. Prim and proper as always, she smiled at the staff member that had carried her luggage over. Taylor wondered how she could always look so outwardly put together. He admired it.
As the van door shut, Minhui made eye contact with Taylor through the reflection, before turning to check her phone. She was a busy lady, Taylor figured. The van pulled away from the building.
The silence between the two was choking Taylor even with his music blaring. Minhui didn’t seem to mind it, but Taylor couldn’t stop thinking about what she said to him, about wanting to talk. With a breath, Taylor removed his earbuds and mumbled, “You wanted to talk to me?”
Minhui swiftly put her phone in her pocket, donning a smile. “Yes. I wanted to congratulate you on making it this far in the show, and thank you for representing SUN Entertainment in a positive way. You worked hard.”
Those words…they sounded practiced. She didn’t mean them, did she? He didn’t go through all that just for her to simply tell him that he tried his best. A laughy breath escaped Taylor, and it sounded cynical to his own ears. He knew any hint of smile on his face was bittersweet.
Minhui’s smile dropped a bit at the sound. “Taylor? Is something bothering you?”
Taylor looked out the window.
Minhui shifted her gaze so that it met his in the reflection. “Taylor, am I bothering you? Was it something I said?”
Taylor had had enough. He couldn’t keep it to himself anymore, and he was going to say it directly to Minhui. He tried his best not to glare as he turned towards her, but averted his eyes as soon as the eye contact was made. “It’s the way…it’s the way you always used tell me to go practice. I get it, I’m not that skilled yet, but I’ve been practicing. So much. So hearing the same comment over and over again is disheartening to say the least. Am I not improving at all?”
Minhui sighed, further irritating Taylor. “Taylor, I tell all the trainees to go practice when I see them. It doesn’t mean I don’t see improvement. I do. But as someone who has gone through the entire training process, I know that there’s always something that you can be working on. I remind everyone to keep practicing so that they don’t forget that.”
Taylor took a sharp breath in. She wasn’t getting it. “I told you, I get why you tell me to practice. What I don’t get is why that was the only thing you said. A bit of encouragement, any encouragement…that’s all I wanted. And just now, what you said about me doing a good job on the show? I bet Yunmin got that exact same speech. Junmi would have gotten that exact same speech.” He let the silence sit over them for a few seconds before feeling like he could speak again. “…what you said…about me not being essential to the debut group. That…that really hurt.” Taylor looked up. He didn’t care if he was glaring.
“Oh that.” Minhui sighed as if this was something she realized too, covering her face with her hands for a moment as if to compose herself. “I’m so sorry, Taylor. That was not my best choice of words. I’m really sorry about that. Genuinely. It’s just…seeing the other trainees, I couldn’t picture the debut group with you in it where you weren’t overshadowed by the others. You have such a bright and wonderful personality, Taylor, but I feared that it wouldn’t shine through. A good debut group is one where nobody gets sidelined and I didn’t want you to experience that firsthand. Again, I’m so sorry, Taylor. You have so much left in you to show the world.”
Taylor didn’t expect that. “Oh.” Minhui seemed genuine.
“And Taylor? I’m really, really sorry about not encouraging you more. I…that’s something I really need to work on. I keep forgetting that people look up to me for advice and that my words have an impact because of that. I don’t want to excuse my behaviour at all. I’ll try to be better, for you and all of the trainees.”
Taylor forced a small smile onto his face. He didn’t forgive her quite yet, but he accepted the apology, and hoped his smile showed that.
Minhui closed her eyes as if she just remembered something and quietly swore to herself. “What’s wrong?” Taylor questioned.
Minhui opened her eyes and shook her head, with a wistful smile on her face. “Nothing, this is just reminding me about something. Not something for you to worry about.”
Throughout the silence of the remaining ride back, Taylor felt a strange sense of sudden determination. As the van pulled up to the company, he looked at Minhui, who returned his stare with confusion. “I’m going to practice, and I’m going to prove myself again on a survival show.”
Minhui raised her eyebrows. “Already?” Taylor nodded. “I’m glad you aren’t letting this hold you back.”
Taylor walked into the company building.
SUN Entertainment Q&A (June 2022)[]
Favourite Songs Right Now: Ponzona by TRØX, Don't You Dare by QUINT, Real Love by OH MY GIRL
Best Three Traits: Energetic personality, smart humour, overflowing charm
Representative Animal: Dog
Representative Colour: Green
Other Languages Spoken: English (fluent)
Reason For Becoming A Trainee: Loving k-pop
Special Skill: Being able to charm anyone
Favourite Sunbaenims Right Now: Miran of Xi², Woojin of SOLVIZ, Jack of 6topia
Hobbies Right Now: Video games, cooking, filming
Star Maker X 101[]
Audition performance - Nostalgia by DRIPPIN: Rank F
Universe Battles - Our Way To Go - FINEKIZ, Team: EXTRAS, Vocal 2, Center
First Eliminations - placed 14th